1. You begin to suffer with identity disorder. If you tell him how you feel, they will use phrases like „I know how you really are. You feel less and less like you. You ask yourself Who am I?
2. You feel exhausted. They have higher and higher expectations while they give you less and less. It can be financial, emotional, taking care of house, children, etc. You don’t even have time to realize they are doing nothing. They don’t mind even if you’re sick.
3. You feel confused like : He loves me. But he is hateful. He loves me. But he doesn’t like to see me happy. If you say „You can’t love me if you say that about me“ they reply like „How can you even say that?“
4. You constantly think. About why he said this, why did this happen, you are trying to understand how to make him happy and you don’t even think about yourself. You are missing the joy of living in the moment.
5. You can’t concentrate. You can’t see clearly. Truth is there but it’s out of reach. Nothing makes sense.
6. You doubt your sanity. He sees you as competition. He teaches you to be like him. He creates a situation, makes you react, and then says it’s your fault. And you say „Look at me. Look at how I am behaving“.
7. You are suffering from ptsd. You never know what’s going to happen. You are charged with fear and anxiety. You don’t even allow yourself to be relaxed.
8. You develop depression. It happens little by little. You lose your joy. Coarse of abuse is done slowly. You think „wow I used to love reading“ or „I used to love painting“. He starts by saying „you spend so much time painting instead of spending more time with you“
9. You become an empty shell of a person. It is best visible in photos. You look like you are not even there.
10. You feel emotionally disconnected from yourself. He conditions you not to have good emotions. They teach you through criticizm. You can’t even laugh. There’s no emotion.
11. You develop low self esteem. It starts to dominate your life.
12. You feel addicted to him. Even though you see he is toxic. You say this relationship is killing me but I can’t leave.
13. You feel shame. Because he projects it on you. You may be enjoying your time with friends and he gives you a mean look and you think „what have I done?“
14. Reoccuring nightmares.
15. Dissociation. You go to a place inside you.
16. You are easily triggered. Fight/flight/freeze/ You are always at a high state of anxiety. They feed off your reactions.
17. You develop addictions. Drinking, smoking, watching tv for hours.
18. You engage in self destructive behaviours.
19. Your anxiety becomes a phobia.
20. Panic attacks.