How to Deal with Controlling People

One variety of human beings we tend to have too many of in our lives (too many as in, more than zero) is controlling people. Considering the stress they can create, knowing how to deal with controlling people effectively is serious business and it requires a key set of people skills.

Controlling People Explained

Fundamentally, controlling people have a powerful need to control others (doooh!). This need is reinforced by their belief (conscious or subconscious) that they can bend the will of other people to their own and use others to get their way.

Having lots of practice, most controlling people are real masters of pressuring and manipulating others. They often have very good people skills (the bad kind) and may initially come off as very charming.

The basis of beingable to deal with controlling people effectively, from my perspective, is making them understand that they cannot pull your strings. Thus, you are shaking one of their core beliefs and you have the best chances of them backing off.

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How To Handle Controlling And Aggressive People (Ako zvládnuť kontrolujúcich a agresívnych ľudí)

In a perfect world, none of us would ever have to deal with difficult people—but unfortunately, we all do. They may be co-workers we see at work, acquaintances who are friends with our friends, or even family members we’ll have to see at get-togethers and holiday parties. Sometimes these people just have strong personalities, and sometimes their behavior is indicative of underlying mental issues.

On the surface, controlling and aggressive people may come across as hostile, demanding, confrontational and possibly even emotionally abusive. They are not pleasant to be around, but with some intelligent communication you can learn to cope with these people and even earn their respect. If there is a period of time coming up, such as the holidays, where you will have to be around controlling people, ask your psychiatrist at a counseling center for tips on how to stay rational in their presence.

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Question: „What does it mean to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)? ( Čo znamená hovoriť pravdu v láske? – Ef 4:15)

Answer: Christians often talk about the need to “speak the truth in love,” a command found in Ephesians 4:15. Many times what they mean is the need to share difficult truths in a gentle, kind, inoffensive manner. From a practical standpoint, we know that difficult things are best heard when our defenses are not up. In a loving, non-threatening environment, hard truths are more readily received. So it is biblical to share hard truths with others “in love,” in the manner that the phrase is commonly used. Looking at the context of Ephesians 4:15, however, gives us deeper insight on what it means to “speak the truth in love.”

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Being an Assertive Christian Woman ( Byť asertívnou kresťanskou ženou )

By Ruth Koch

Sometimes it seems like life is uphill all the way.  Someone is rude to you, verbally abusive, takes advantage of you—whatever—and you, being raised as many women are, to ‘make nice,’ just don’t know how to handle the situation.  If you make a big effort to ‘make nice’ with the person who is doing wrong, you will encourage the behavior and participate in their wrongdoing.  You don’t want to be the doormat woman who forfeits the respect of those around her.

And I’ll bet you’ve seen too many women who hold it in and hold it in and then just blow up, raining nasty words and red-hot anger and even hatred that has been fermenting for way too long.  You don’t want to be that woman who behaves aggressively—hurting others and later regretting it.

And, besides, you’re a Christian woman and that is at the very center of your identity.  You want to represent Christ well in all your interactions with others, but you may not be sure just how to balance the whole counsel of God which tells us, for example, to put the needs of others ahead of our own (Philippians 2:3) but also tells us to ‘look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others,’ (Philippians 2:4), affirming that it is appropriate to look to our own interests.  To untangle some of these competing instructions, we need to look at the concept of assertiveness, the healthy antidote to both passive and aggressive behaviors.

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